Rotating red lines in a circular motion

Speed Dating Rules 

Speed dating rules

So what’s expected of you and what are the rules for speed dating?  These nights are super fun, easygoing and often result in further dates or long term romance. By having a few simple speed dating rules, everyone is safe, reassured, more relaxed about the process and ready to have a great time.   

At the moment all our events have been changed to online speed dating, and in this article, we’ll let you know exactly what you should and shouldn’t be doing, along with some top tips for success.   

Speed dating rules and questions 

You may have some questions about how it all works and what will, or won’t be expected from you on the night and afterwards. The good news is that this is arguably the easiest, most straightforward and hassle-free form of meeting singles. And as you don’t have to be the person to say if you’re not interested, it’s also the least awkward.

Gone are those tricky chats where one party wants to meet again and the other doesn’t. With speed dating, it’s the organisers who let attendees know whether they’ve found a match, several matches or none at all. And you’ll only be considered a match if you both liked each other and are willing to have your contact details shared as a result.  

How to succeed at speed dating 

There are some set rules, as well things we strongly suggest you do to optimise your chances of success. Here are the definite dos and don’ts: 

  1. Book beforehand, you won’t be allowed access without a place 
  2. Show up on time 
  3. Follow the host’s instructions, including moving when the bell rings (the latter applies if you’re a guy) 
  4. Treat other participants with respect – be polite, non-offensive and use appropriate language 
  5. Don’t ask them whether they plan to match with you 
  6. Don’t get drunk and become unruly (having a few drinks is fine, but know your limits) 

When you go speed dating, you have the peace of mind that the host is present and enforcing these rules. Should you encounter any of these issues, it’s their job to sort it out.   

Make the most of your speed dating experience 

speed dating rules and questions

There’s more you can do to get the most out of the night. These aren’t rules, so they are optional, but they are great tips for success.  

  1. Dress to impress, but keep it smart casual.  
  2. Make notes between dates, you’ll forget who’s who by the end of the night if you don’t! 
  3. Arrive (or log on) with plenty of time so you can pop to the loo, freshen up and relax beforehand.
  4. Sit up straight and keep open body language (no folded arms). 
  5. Make eye contact and smile. 
  6. Plan some interesting questions in advance and think about how you’d answer them.

More dating tips 

In any dating scenario first impressions really count, so do make an effort on your appearance and demeanour. If you’re having a bad day, see if you can put it aside and stay positive. Don’t control the conversation.

You should both have the opportunity to ask questions – in a speed dating scenario this will be minimised due to time constraints, making it all the more important to allow each other space to speak. Appear interested, even if you’re not. It’s only a few minutes, so be polite and supportive. You can fake confidence and remember, the other person will likely be feeling nervous too.   


Dating rules and the modern dating scene  

Speed dating ‘rules’ can differ from those of the wider world of modern dating. As there’s a host in charge of the night, lots of other attendees and it’s held in a public venue, there’s no need for you to put a ‘safe person’ in place before heading out.

If you’re meeting someone for the first time one on one, even in a bar or restaurant, you should always tell a friend or family member where you’re going and who you’re meeting – then let them know once you’re home afterwards.   

What is the 3-day rule in dating? 

A common piece of advice for singles is to wait three days before contacting someone after a date, or before responding to texts and messages. The idea is not to seem too eager. With speed dating, we recommend you don’t leave it so long to contact a match. This kind of dating is designed for those who may be short on time and don’t want to play games.

As such, your match will be expecting contact, or be about to do so themselves. You’ve already both expressed interest, so seeming keen isn’t a drawback. And they may have other matches, so get in there and get a second date arranged.  


If you still have questions or need some advice on preparing, check out our blog with lots of useful articles about what to wear, how it all works and more handy tips. Do you feel ready to go for it and book an event near you? Love could be waiting just around the corner. 

Related Questions 

  • How does speed dating work? 

You spend a few minutes with each participant of the opposite sex on a rotation basis, then let the organisers know who you’d like to see again. If that person or people feel the same way, you’re sent an email with their details and vice versa (provided you consent to this). 

  • Is speed dating still a thing? 

Absolutely! The increase of online opportunities for singles hasn’t lessened the need for face to face meetings, quite the opposite. Trawling websites can be time-consuming and many professionals like to break from screens during leisure time. 

Find an event near you