How to Spot a Dating Scammer: 8 Signs to Look For

Knowing how to spot a dating scammer is crucial for protecting yourself and your personal information. This article will guide you through the signs to watch for and provide tips on how to stay safe while dating.

How to outsmart a romance scammer

Along with genuine profiles, dating apps also attract scammers looking to exploit unsuspecting users. The problem has increased since the inception of dating sites. And sadly, there are many stories of people being conned out of large amounts of money. This is of course a worse case scenario. But it’s important to be scammer-aware so you can protect yourself.

Unfortunately, those with less experience in this sphere, or who lack dating confidence, can be especially prone to catfishes and scammers. This is one of the many reasons we provide articles and information; to help you have a positive dating experience. And to avoid any potential pitfalls, without having to go through a lot of trial and error.

Catfishing in dating

While scamming commonly takes place online, catfishing happens exclusively in the digital world. It involves using a fake photo and/or identity (a common tactic of scammers). This may be for the purpose of luring singles the catfish wouldn’t otherwise attract. It might work to get a date with someone they’d consider out of their league. But it rarely goes any further than that, as the other person is generally pretty disgruntled when they meet face to face.
Other catfishes use a fake identity to build a too-good-to-be-true relationship and extort information or money.

What to look for in a romance scammer

Scammers often prey on individuals’ emotions, using charm and manipulation to build trust quickly. They are expert in mind games.
If you suspect you’re dealing with a scammer, take immediate action to protect yourself and others.

• Stop all contact with the person immediately
• Report the profile
• Block the user

Let’s take a look at what you need to be looking out for. Not everything on our list is a sign of a scammer in itself, rather a red flag to proceed with caution. But if you’re noticing two or more, proceed with caution and follow the advice in this article.

Dating scammer tactics

1. Fast escalation

Scammers tend to move the relationship forward quickly. They may profess their love within a few days or weeks of chatting. Genuine relationships take time to develop. Be wary of anyone who tries to rush things.

2. Sob stories

Scammers often invent heartbreaking stories to elicit sympathy and financial help. They might claim to be widowed, taking care of a sick family member, or stranded in a foreign country.

Typical scammer behaviour

3. Poor spelling and grammar and sentences that don’t make sense.

This in itself is certainly not a red flag. But if it comes from someone who professes to be a native English speaker and accompanies many other of the behaviours and tactics, pay close attention. They may not be who they say they are.

4. Inconsistent information

Pay attention to any inconsistencies in their stories. Scammers often slip up when providing details about their (false) life.

Dating scammer photos

5. Slick and extremely attractive photos

This is where catfishing comes in. Scammers will use attractive and often professional-looking photos as bait. If you’re in any doubt, you should do a reverse image search, to see if the photo has been used elsewhere or appears to belong to someone else. If you’re feeling massively flattered by a match who looks like a model or movie star (and that isn’t your usual dating pool), be sure to do some checks.

Excuses a scammer uses

6. Pressure to communicate off the app

Scammers often try to move the conversation to personal email, text, or other messaging apps. Major dating platforms have security measures in place to help detect and prevent scams. Con-artists know this. A move off the platform is fine once you’re convinced the person is real and genuine. Ideally get some proof of this first.

7. Reluctance to meet in person

If your match consistently avoids meeting in person or over video chat, it could be a sign they are hiding something. They’ll have an excuse ready for this of course. Scammers often claim to have high-paying, impressive jobs that require them to travel frequently.

Extortion scams

8. Asking for money

The biggest red flag is when someone you’ve met online asks for money. They might create elaborate stories about emergencies, business problems, or travel issues. No matter how convincing the story, never send money to someone you haven’t met in person. Even then, make sure you know them well and use sound judgment. It’s always fine to say no. The more they apply the pressure and raise the stakes, the more of a red flag it is. Here are some examples of the kinds of scenarios used:

• A scammer pretends to be a deployed soldier. They build a romantic connection, then claim to need money for leave or medical expenses
• Posing as a successful entrepreneur, the scammer and convinces their victim to invest in a fake business venture
• After a period of trust building, the scammer claims to have a sudden emergency, such as a medical crisis or a legal issue and asks for financial help
• The scammer claims they have a large inheritance coming, but needs cash to pay legal or other fees to access it

We’ve talked a lot about what to avoid when dating. But it’s good to know what to look for in a partner too. This can help lead you to a good match.

Related Questions

How long will a scammer keep talking to you?
As long as it takes to get what they want. Some will invest months or even years and convince you they’re madly in love and a devoted partner, even though you’ve never met in person. This is playing the long game and it’s often the most dangerous.

Can a scammer track you?
Computer hacker scammers can sometimes place tracking malware on devices, but this is less common. Using anti-virus protection will prevent this. And don’t give out sensitive personal details to strangers online. Potential partners do not need to know your mother’s maiden name, or what your first pet was called.

How do you expose a dating scammer?
Many apps provide the option to report scammers and inappropriate content. Depending on the severity of the scam, you might want to consider reporting them to the police. Especially if they’ve tried to extort money from you.