Do you feel like you’d benefit from increased morale when it comes to meeting new people? Learn how to boost your dating confidence by making some simple changes to what you do and say. You will not only feel better but find more success. Because confidence is a very attractive quality in a potential partner.
In this article, we’ll give you practical advice to up your game and improve your dating experience by helping you feel more self-assured.
Learn about dating confidence
It’s totally normal to not be brimming with confidence at the prospect of a date. Most people will be nervous beforehand and this can result in physical outcomes like shaking knees, sweaty palms and blushing. So the first step toward increased confidence is to find a place of calm and to learn how to relax.
If you enjoy activities like yoga, swimming or Tai Chi, these are really useful for bringing a sense of peace to your nervous system. You can also try a meditation or mindfulness app, or just practise breathing in and out at a sustained and slow pace to bring your heart rate down.
Getting compliments can really help boost your morale too. And the best way to get compliments is to give them. Don’t wait for your date to begin, there’s some groundwork to do first. Say nice things to your friends, family and colleagues.
When others reciprocate, you’ll feel great and have a swing in your step, ready for your date. And once you get there, dropping a thoughtful compliment will certainly help make you popular.
Self-esteem and dating
If you’ve had a bad experience, your self-esteem may have taken a hit – or several hits for that matter. Be sure to practice self-care and do things you enjoy – this will help increase your self-esteem. Holistic activities nourish the mind and body, while exercise is perfect to get your blood pumping and help you feel better about yourself.
Some people with low self-esteem struggle to chat about themselves comfortably with dates and may feel they have little to say. By nurturing your hobbies and interests you’ll feel better, but it will also provide topics of conversation – and your passions will show through.
How to boost your dating confidence
But now you have a date – or speed dating event – lined up. What practical steps can you take to give the impression you’re brimming with confidence?
Here are some easy things you can do ahead of the night so that you feel confident and ready to go.
- Love what you wear. Dress in a style and choose a colour (or colours) that makes you feel good. Bolder patterns, brighter colours and metallics – when worn tastefully or funkily scream confidence. So if you enjoy being braver with your outfits, go for it. Don’t wear stilettos if you’ll worry about tripping and don’t put on a tie if you feel claustrophobic in them. But do pick out something smart, that flatters you and shows off a bit of your personality.
- And do your hair. Looking good from top to toe will give you a huge boost – so have a think what makes you feel like a million dollars. Is it getting your nails done, having a facial, or whitening your teeth? Whatever works for you. And tell yourself how fantastic you look when you take a last glance in the mirror before leaving. It may sound naff, but no one will see you or needs to know! Be your own cheerleader.
- Splash on some good quality perfume or aftershave. A great scent speaks volumes and gives you an automatic air of self-assuredness.
- Have something ready to say and chat about. Coming up with questions beforehand is a good idea. Long, awkward silences are a giveaway of nervousness, but so is talking too much, so stay in the middle ground.
- Remember, they’re human too and probably feeling nervous. This takes away the daunting and untrue notion that everyone is oozing confidence and you’re not.
- Visualise it going well before you leave. Your imagination is powerful and this technique has a way of influencing things – whichever arena of life you choose to use it in. And be sure not to imagine it going badly, or allow your mind to follow negative worry patterns. Remind yourself to be cheerful and upbeat and gradually, your emotions will follow suit.
- Play a hype song. This should be something up-tempo that makes you smile and want to dance around the room. It’s a great way to make you feel positive and pumped before stepping through your front door and out for your date.
- Make a strong first impression. Most people make up their minds about someone in the first few seconds. Don’t miss your opportunity. Practice a clear, simple and warm verbal greeting, like “Hi I’m …, great to meet you”. Be sure to smile (with your eyes and mouth) and look directly at them. Avoiding eye contact, tipping your chin toward your chest and putting your head far onto one side are all no-confidence giveaways. It can be cute if it’s done coyly, but if in doubt, stick to open body language to communicate your confidence.
- Don’t have too much to drink when you arrive. Or during the date itself. Dutch courage is not the same as confidence. One to take the edge off is fine, but get tipsy and you’ll be likely to say or do something you regret, which in the long-run has a habit of knocking confidence for future, not building it.
How do you fake confidence on a date?
Not feeling it? Not to worry. The wonderful secret is, you don’t actually have to be confident to appear that way. Many people you know who seem to be full of swagger, may well be feeling shy and withdrawn underneath. If you follow the advice we give – especially when it comes to body language – you’ll give the impression of confidence. So hold your head up high, put your shoulders back, stand straight, look your date in the eye, use a strong handshake and smile. Then fake it till you make it.
Lost confidence in dating
Perhaps it’s not your own confidence that’s lacking, but your confidence in the dating process itself. If you’ve been searching for a long time and been on a string of less than enjoyable dates, it’s understandable that you’d feel this way. But it definitely doesn’t have to signal the end of your dating adventures. It may just be time for a gear switch.
When you have no confidence in dating
Sometimes it’s good to take a break. If you’ve been at it for ages and are feeling jaded, give dating a rest for a time. Then once you’ve had some time out and adjusted your mindset, return to it, but take a different approach this time. Try a different method of dating, a new website or events you haven’t been to before.
How do I get confidence in dating?
Whether you’re new to dating and reticent, or needing a new lease of life in your dating journey, you need to have some fun with it. Actually enjoying the process of meeting someone will transform your thoughts about it and you’ll want to get out there are mingle. Speed dating is a great way to do this. It’s not all about the goal of coupling up – although that, of course, is an aim – it’s also about having a good night out in a nice venue.
Now it’s time to try it out! Book onto an event, or arrange a date and experiment with these tips. And don’t just use them in your love life – take them to work too. Confidence is a super skill for getting on in every area of your life.
- How do you find love when you have low self-esteem?
If your lack of confidence is more generalised than specific to dating, you can work on improving your self-esteem. You can of course still find love, but you’ll be happier overall if you feel better about yourself.
- Why do I lose confidence in a relationship?
Perhaps it’s your insecurities setting in, or maybe there’s something fundamentally wrong with the relationship itself, or your relationship patterns. Do you trust the person if you’ve been dating a while? If not, why not? If it’s because they’re not honest and truthful, then the issue lies with them.
- How do you act at speed dating?
Confidently is a great start. But other than that, just be yourself. Don’t put on a whole different persona. Try to relax and enjoy it. The hosts will take care of everything, you only need to work out who you’d like to see again.