How to Prepare for a Relationship While Single

Are you hoping to meet a long-term partner? There’s much you can do ahead of time to increase your chances of finding someone suitable — and of making it work once you start dating. In this article, we look at how to prepare for a relationship while single.

How to prepare for a relationship while single

Waiting is frustrating. Especially when it comes to the often all-consuming desire to have a mate. Maximise this time and make your search more effective by following our advice on how to prepare for a relationship while single.

Work out what you want from life

We’re not talking about what characteristics and aesthetics you’re seeking in a partner. It’s about establishing how you want your future to pan out. Practical things like where you want to live, how you’ll spend money, how active and sociable your lifestyle will be, whether you’d like children and pets. These may constitute your dealbreakers, that is, areas on which you’re unwilling to compromise.

Have a good, long hard think about these before you get involved with someone. It can cause a lot of heartaches if you find out too late, that there are areas of major incompatibility. We often jump in with both feet and rose-tinted vision. While you should keep an open mind, you’ll end up resenting your other half if you give up your dreams for them.

Enjoy life without compromise

This is the flip side. Relationships are about compromise. Not that you should compromise on everything, but you will have to compromise on some things. Work out what you will and won’t and then enjoy what you have now. Because some of it will almost certainly change once you settle down with a life partner. It may entail enjoying having complete control over what colour to paint a wall, taking a trip where you plan 100% of the itinerary or letting the dog sleep on the bed every night.

How do you prepare yourself for a relationship?

Self-care is always important https://www.verywellmind.com/self-care-strategies-overall-stress-reduction-3144729 and time being single allows you to nurture this habit. From eating well to exercising, investing in hobbies and friendships, and finding ways to relax and switch off. Let’s take a look at some of the ways you can prepare for your next boyfriend or girlfriend.

Understand your relational and attachment style

‘Know thyself’ is a great mantra for pre-dating. Many of us go through hurt and stress by getting together with people who are not right for us. In fact, we’re often drawn to the exact opposite of what will make us content and secure. Working out what makes you feel reassured, loved and able to go the distance is a great start in identifying potential partners.

Get your affairs in order

Prepare for a serious relationship, by sorting out your admin. This may be something that never occurred to you. But removing any unnecessary complications will really help provide you both with a clean start. What does this mean?
If you’re separated, get your divorce finalised
Update any financial products or insurances that are shared with an ex (unless necessary due to co-parenting)
Pay off debts, or have a realistic plan in place to do so
Save, so you have some cash set aside for holidays
Understand/set your monthly budget and expenditure
There may be reasons why some or all of these things are not possible in your circumstances and that’s ok. However, just being aware and doing what you can, will enable you to slide more seamlessly into a long-term partnership.

The checklist before getting into a relationship

So what else would you be considering before jumping into your next romance?

Reflect on past relationships

Work on where you may have gone wrong in the past. This is absolutely not about beating yourself up. It’s about doing the internal work by identifying any unhelpful patterns of behaviour, choices, or mindsets. Aim to be the kind of person you would want to date; kind, generous, thoughtful, strong yet vulnerable and capable. Journaling is a really good way to process and gain a bit of objectivity. You may also want to ask friends for their feedback to ascertain what may be reasonable expectations for dating.

Get your wardrobe in order

As it’s advisable to get your financial affairs in order, it’s well worth clearing out your wardrobe too. Once you’ve found the love of your life, you’re going to want to move in together and may not have space for decades of clothes you never wear. Have a good clear out and while you’re at it, be honest with yourself about anything that may not be presenting you in your best light. Looking sharp and attractively presented will, after all, help with first impressions and landing the ideal mate.

Meet people

Put this one at the top of your list, or you may not get into a relationship at all. Meeting people may sound like an obvious pre-cursor to dating, but it’s amazing how many singles do very little to change their relationship status, while simultaneously lamenting it. It’s highly unlikely you’ll bump into your soul mate by keeping doing the same things, with the same people. If you’re scratching your head for ways to meet lots of new and eligible people quickly, why not try speed dating?

Related Questions

Is it healthy to stay single?

If that’s what you want, absolutely! No one should feel pressure by societal expectations to follow the status quo. But if your heart yearns for love, know that this is a completely healthy desire. A period of singleness can be beneficial after a breakup. Take some time to regroup and focus on yourself, then get back out there with hope.

Should I get into a relationship?

Remember there are lots of different types of relationships. It could be you’re not in the right place for something serious, but that doesn’t mean you can’t have some fun. Just be sure to be really clear with your suitors as to what you’re looking for.