Why Aren’t Dating Apps Working for Me?

You’ve downloaded a bunch of the big names, created profiles on each, swiped, matched, and chatted for months. But you’re not getting anywhere and it’s starting to feel like groundhog day. So why aren’t dating apps working for you? Let’s take a look at some of the possible reasons.

Why am I having no luck on dating apps?

It could be there’s something you need to change. Or it could be that app-based dating doesn’t suit your personality type, or the types you’re suited to.

Here are some reasons why dating apps might not be working for you, so you can identify which applies to you and what to do about it…

You’re not an online kinda person

If you’d rather read a paperback than a kindle; would rather listen to vinyl than stream Spotify; would rather have a cinema pass than a subscription to YouTube, online probably isn’t your thing. So it stands to reason that you might find yourself incompatible with this genre of dating. Some apps have a simpler, less intense approach to tech interaction. Seek them out if you want to keep trying. Or, take your dating offline and met people face to face.

You’re on the wrong apps

Different apps cater to different markets; from those with the long-term goal of getting married, to those wanting a casual hook-up. Read what each brand is about before signing up, so you can pick one, or a few, that will put you in front of singles looking for the same thing as you.

You don’t have time to spend searching and swiping

Apps call for your attention constantly and that can feel invasive to some, especially if it’s distracting you from everything else you do in life. Many people compare dating to having an extra job. So if you’re short on time and need to compartmentalise your dating into specific time periods, on-demand apps may prove tricky.

You’re feeling vulnerable

Apps are big pools and you may feel like a small fish, or like you’ve entered a bit of a cattle market. The process of filtering and narrowing down potentials can be a bit brutal if you’re not used to it. So if you’re sensitive to rejection, it can take a bit of acclimatising; time to grow a thick skin, or swim in a smaller pool.

Your kids use your phone so you have to keep apps/notifications hidden

Similarly, smartphone-based dating might be impractical, if, as soon as the kids are home, they’re picking up your phone to play games and take photos. You’ll need to turn off notifications and possibly hide the apps, which means you’ll be missing messages and interactions.

Your profile isn’t giving a clear idea of who you are

Perhaps you love the apps and thrive on digital communication, but aren’t getting matches. Maybe ask a friend to take a look over your profile. It could be you need to reword your bio, or change up the photos to promote the best features more effectively.

What to do if dating apps don’t work for you

There was a time when apps didn’t exist. And people still met, fell in love and mated for life. So don’t despair if the modern methods aren’t working out. If you’re keen to keep trying, but not online, your first port of callhttps://slowdating.com/assets/problems-with-dating-apps.jpgs the antithesis to dating apps, in that it doesn’t drain every spare minute of your free time, is carried out fully in person and can be slotted into a set few hours of an evening.

How to detox from dating

Too much of anything can be bad for you and if it feels like the search for love is taking over your life, take some time out. Be sure to pause any accounts, so you're not being bombarded with notifications. Then spend some time investing in yourself and those around you. You never know, love may just pop up where you least expect it. But if it doesn’t, some time away from the dating game, to clear your head, will help you to return later on, re-invigorated and refreshed.

We’re very lucky to live in an age where there are so many options. But it’s important to keep in mind that you don’t have to follow a particular trend, as one size doesn’t fit all when it comes to dating. Particularly if you’re new to the single scene, it may take a bit of trial and error before you find what works best for you. aded by apps? Try speed dating instead.

Related Questions

How common is ghosting on dating apps?

Really common. App-based activity can feel very disconnected from real life, so people using them often neglect the normally accepted codes of interpersonal etiquette. Additionally, daters are working through thousands of profiles; they sometimes lose track of who they’re speaking to, or decide it’s not going anywhere, ditch and go. Try not to take it personally, ghosting just comes with the territory.

What are some red flags on dating apps?

Catfishing happens quite frequently on dating apps. But it’s usually fairly easy to spot; anyone who seems too good to be true, who is way too keen too quickly (they’re apparently falling in love with you before you’ve even had a video call) and/or has excuses for not being able to meet in person. You can find out more about dating red flags in this article.

Which dating site has the highest success rate?
This is difficult to quantify — other than by surveying a cross-section of the population who’ve used dating sites — as the apps themselves rarely stay in touch or track the relationships of their users. An individual will come off an app because they’ve matched for life, but they’ll also leave because they’ve had enough and it’s hard for the sites to tell which it is.