How to Be Confident on a Date

Do you want to be self-assured when meeting potential suitors? Learn how to be confident on a date so you can feel at ease and attract more singles.

Why confidence is important in dating

But firstly, why does it even matter? Is it important to give off an air of self-assurance and what difference will it actually make?
Dating experts widely believe that confidence without cockiness is among the most attractive traits a potential partner can possess. This means you’ll be more successful and find dating so much easier if you’re confident, as you’ll open up a wider pool to pick from.

Self-worth and dating

A lack of confidence causes emotional problems with dating too. If you struggle with self-esteem you may find it makes meeting people painfully difficult. And once you do find a mate, it can manifest in insecurity or co-dependency that robs you of the chance to relax into and enjoy your relationship. A lack of self-worth can also cause you to settle for someone who's not right for you.

How can I improve my dating confidence?

There are two sides to this coin. One is feeling confident, the other is looking confident. And the good news is, you can give the impression of the second without having the first down. That means, no matter how awkward you feel, how much your palms sweat, or your knees shake, it can all be masked with some easy, quick fixes. And it begins with the senses.

Body language
Let’s start with what’s seen. Stand/sit tall with your shoulders back and head held high, walk with intention, smile, make eye contact and voila; you’re looking more confident in an instant. What you wear will also affect your visual impact — we’ll delve into that shortly.

Fragrance
Smell your way to confidence! There’s something about a spritz of decent quality fragrance that creates an immediate ambience of self-assurance (both for you and your date). Be careful not to overdo it though.

Chat
Finally, what your date hears, will influence their perception of you a lot. Having some chat up your sleeve; such as a few questions or some light-hearted humour will give the impression you’ve got it all together.

How to not be insecure on a first date

Now let’s look at some of the things your date will never see or know about but will help you to have a spring in your step.

Hype music
Performers use this before going on stage, as music is proven to have a huge influence on mood and the psyche. Have a playlist of songs that make you feel amazing and dance around your bedroom to them before you leave. This will help you loosen inhibitions and give a burst of positivity that’ll have a knock-on effect on your confidence levels.

Lower the stakes
Manage your expectations and don’t pin everything on this one person or date. Keeping your first date low key may be a solution. Be sure to remind yourself that if it doesn’t work out, there are other options and opportunities (it may not fee like it, but there really are). A scarcity mindset will cause you to panic and feel like this is your only chance.

How to be yourself on a date

Being the best version of yourself on a date is the gold standard. Feeling comfortable in your own skin is a great way to exude confidence, but this can be easier said than done, especially if there are aspects of the way you look that you’re less than content with. If there are things you want to change, by all means do so, but try to make peace with the things you can’t.

Clothes
Wearing something that reflects your personality will make you appear confident — bold or bright works really well, but only if it’s something you like and would ordinarily wear. Dress to impress, but dress like you. Looking the part not only makes you look more self-assured, but it’ll help you feel it too.

Mantras
This is a little more of a long game, but having mantras you regularly repeat will bring about changes in your mind set. It usually takes about 21 days to reset a negative thought pattern. So right down some inspiring words that encourage you to believe in yourself and keep repeating them.

Getting out there and going on dates will automatically build your confidence. Like anything, getting into the swing and finding it’s not as scary as you’d anticipated is often half the battle. Speed dating is a great way to get the ball rolling and see how others do it. With each date only lasting a few minutes, you’ll get in lots of practice in just one night.

Related Questions

Why is the first date awkward?

If you’re newly single, the thought of going on dates can feel quite daunting. And that sense of trepidation often become visible, leading one or both parties to be pretty awkward. A first date may feel like an unnatural scenario, but that’s usually just because you’re in unfamiliar territory.

How can I be attractive on a first date?

We’ve established that confidence is sexy. And that you can absolutely fake it till you make it. Also, be sure to take a genuine interest in the other person. Active listening is often overlooked but is one of the most effective (and easiest) things you can do to attract someone.