Dating Problems and Solutions

Searching for love can be tough. But many of the difficulties you may be facing are universal and there are some quick fixes that can turn your situation around. Read on to find out about common dating problems and the solutions that’ll help you succeed.

What are some problems with dating?

Dating has its hurdles. Both in meeting suitable individuals to go out with and once you’re in a relationship. In this article, we’ll focus on the first scenario; our field of expertise - finding and effectively matching singles.

A lack of matches

Struggling to find people you connect with in the first place is a major bugbear for daters. The cry of “there’s just no decent men/women out there” is common. And it can feel that way. But despite what you may think and how you may feel, it’s not about a lack of people. The UK population stands in the region of 70 million with around half of that figure estimated to be single. Even when filtering by age, gender preferences and geography, that still leaves a lot of potential. So the real problem is creating the opportunities to find your potential matches. And they’re not all on apps. Some people don’t want to put their profile online, don’t like the idea of online dating, or have had bad experiences. So you need to cover more bases than a handful of websites.

80% of attendees get a match at the first Slow Dating event they attend. Why is our speed dating success rate so high? Because well-run speed dating nights widen your net, while simultaneously narrowing down your search, by age, orientation and location.

Cost

Going on lots of dates can add up. And in a time of increasing living costs, an abundance of first-meet dinners and drinks that end up going nowhere can be an expense you just don’t want or need. For the equivalent price of just a main course for yourself, you can go speed dating and cover lots of dates in one night out. Once you start seeing someone there are plenty of dates you can go on at a low cost or for nothing.

Time

Maybe you’re cash-rich but time-poor. The same rule applies to you. Endless lunches and coffees will quickly eat up any free space in your calendar. So you need to be careful how much of it you invest in meetings that will go nowhere. Similarly, lots of online messaging can be time-consuming, which goes to waste if you don’t hit it off face to face. This is why busy professionals often gravitate toward speed dating or ask their mates to set them up. Much like a networking event, a speed dating session will help you to hone in on what - or who - you want, fast.

The cringe factor

If you’re just getting started, dating can feel downright awkward. You may have noticed friends who’ve been at it a while aren’t so bothered by this though. That’s because they’ve got used to it. And you must do the same. It’s ideal if you meet someone straight away and you barely have to deal with the cringe-factor. But for a lot of people it takes a bit longer, so you may be swimming in the dating pool for a while. Acclimatise yourself to the water gradually, or jump right in, the choice is yours. Speed dating is a good way to desensitise as you’re surrounded by others in exactly the same position.

The dating scene

Financial and time constraints will be dictated by your own circumstances. But the digital dating scene poses a particular problem that can affect anyone who isn’t aware of this particular pitfall and how to spot it…

Catfishing

The scourge of online dating, a catfish is an individual who pretends to be someone else on an app or online dating site. Fake profiles can cause a range of issues from simply wasting your time, to, in some more extreme cases, financial extortion. If you’re dating via digital means, it’s well worth being vigilant and honest with yourself. If someone seems way too good to be true, they probably are. Look out for model-type photographs, a sparse profile, or claims of success that don’t quite add up.

Of course, there are some wonderful, good-looking and accomplished singles out there who are genuinely looking for a mate. But a catfish will be overly flattering, while unlikely to show a genuine interest in you. They may pay generic compliments and get overly keen, faster than is normal or appropriate. Below, is a video highlighting some of the things to look out for. However, ultimately the only way to tell if someone is who they say they are is to meet them in person.

As much as dating can feel like a chore at times, it can also be an adventure. Many people make new friends along the way, as well as gathering some fun dinner party stories! It’s all about being smart and savvy with your search. Because there is somebody (or many somebodies) out there for everyone.

Related Questions

Where do singles meet?

Online and speed dating are now common ways to meet people. But singles also meet at social events, through work (this has become more challenging with the proliferation of working from home post-pandemic), doing activities, in special interest groups and through hobbies.

Why do I struggle to date?

Perhaps you’re shy, or you’re introverted and don’t enjoy attending lots of social events where you might bump into someone suitable. Maybe you’re too specific about who you want to date, or not specific enough. There can be a number of reasons you’re struggling to date, so to gain clarity on your own scenario, maybe ask some friends to be honest as to why they think you’re finding it hard going.