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How to Spot Your Future Boyfriend on the Very First Date

perfect boyfriend qualities

Find out how to spot your future boyfriend on the very first date, and you could shortcut your way to some romance, companionship and a whole lot of fun. Change negative patterns in your dating life by working out who’s a good fit for you, quicker.

Do you find you’re often held back by going out with the wrong kinds of guys? In this article, we’ll reveal the initial tell-tale signs that you’ll have a blast together, whether you’re looking for a relationship that’ll last months or many years.

How to spot your future boyfriend on the very first date

We get it. You don’t have time to mess around. But you do want a fantastic playmate, who won’t break your heart or mess you around. So you want to work out who to keep dating and who not to. You need to find out how to spot your future boyfriend on the very first date.

Relationships can be a lottery, but there are ways to increase your chances of success, and that includes knowing what to look for in a potential mate, from the very start.

What makes a good boyfriend?

There are some traits and characteristics that are universal in the makings of a good boyfriend. However, others will be unique to you, based on your personal preferences and personality.

What to look for in a man

If you’re in the market for a man, here are things to look for right from the start.

There’s an instant chemistry

You’ve left the date, your heart is beating just a little bit faster and you feel butterflies in your stomach. This is and has always been a sign of attraction. It could be that you fancy each other big time, or it may be his charisma and the overall vibe you felt from him that’s floating your boat. If you’re looking for a relationship, this is a good point of reference. Chemistry is a sign of dating confidence too.

He makes you laugh

Dating shouldn’t be dull. Stick with someone who has you howling – in a good way. And as guys just love it when you laugh at their jokes or funny comments, you’ll be winning his heart at the same time.

Your schedules are compatible

A tedious practical detail, but if you can’t get a night sorted to meet after weeks or months of trying, how are you going to maintain a relationship? Things like irregular work patterns, caring commitments and an introvert-extrovert clash, can all cause issues.


He’s accessible

He replies to your messages, doesn’t leave you wondering and made time for the date with little hassle. And he continues to communicate once the date is over. This person is willing and ready to take things further.

You’re at a similar life stage

Perhaps you’re a party animal, on the town every night with no responsibilities. Or maybe you’ve got a steady job, a mortgage and are thinking about having kids. Or you’ve moved to the countryside with your dogs for a quiet life. Age isn’t necessarily the same as your stage of life, although the two do often correlate. But either way, if you want to date exclusively and regularly, you’ll need to be living similar lifestyles. If not, there’s going to be a whole lot of frustration in the mix. Establishing what stage you’re at is easy – just ask a few questions to get the clues then decide whether your scenarios are compatible.

Here’s some advice on relationships if you’re in your 20s.

He’s consistent

If he starts contradicting himself this early on, keeps changing his mind about the meeting, or changes arrangements more than once, beware. But if he does what he says and sticks to it, you’ve got the go-ahead.

You feel safe around him

Your gut instinct is an incredibly powerful tool, so listen to it carefully. If something doesn’t feel right, it probably isn’t. This is why you should always conduct first dates in public places and tell someone where you’re going when and who you’re meeting. Feeling really safe and comfortable in someone’s company isn’t a guarantee, but there’s a good chance he is boyfriend material.

He compliments you

Complimenting your date is a quick and smart way to make them feel a million dollars, If he says nice things about you and the way you look, you’re going to want him around a lot more. It’s great going out with someone who’s liberal on the compliments and it means he really rates you.

He’s kind to the waiting/bar staff

Obviously, he’s going to nice to you if he’s interested. But is he kind to the bar staff or waiters? This is a great way to evaluate the real man. If he’s offhand, demanding or rude to them, he’s not going to be good boyfriend once the initial shine wears off. Choose a guy who’s friendly, personable and respectful to those who comes in to contact with during the night.

His pupils dilate on your date

Say what?!
Yes, it’s true. This is a bonafide scientific way of finding out whether he’s into you. When we’re attracted to someone, our pupils dilate (get larger).

But watch out, they also dilate in dim lighting, so it could be that he fancies you or it could be that the venue just flicked the lights to nighttime mode! You’ll also need pretty good eyesight yourself to check, so take care not to stare into his eyes manically as you check, or you may scupper your chances of getting to boyfriend stage.

Are you ready for some first dates? You can meet and mingle with a group of singles in your age group by speed dating online, or at a face to face speed dating event near you. You never know, you may just meet your future boyfriend.

Related Questions

What do girls find attractive in guys?
Physically speaking, nice eyes and a great smile almost always come out top when people are surveyed. While a good sense of humour and kindness score highly in the personality stakes.

Is a lover a boyfriend?
No, not necessarily. It depends if you are in a relationship and while the lines can get blurry, he’s only usually your boyfriend if you’ve both agreed and defined the relationship. And those who are polyamorous may have several boyfriends or girlfriends, so always clarify it.

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