First Date Conversation Tips
Going out with someone you’ve never met before can be a daunting prospect. For many people, the biggest concern is what you’ll talk about. A bit of forward planning can really help you here — and with our first date conversation tips, you can keep those nerves at bay.
First date conversation topics
This time is all about getting to know each other and finding out if there’s a spark. Your conversation should aim to gather information as well as a vibe. With this in mind, you’ll need a combination of fact-finding and compatibility chat. What you do for a living is an obvious starter for ten, but you don’t want to drag each other into a scenario that can feel a bit like a job interview. So unless their profession is their vocation, try to move into topics around areas of interest quite quickly. Talking about something we’re passionate about is a great way to ignite and showcase our spirit and personality. A few suggestions of possible topics include:
Where they currently live or grew up
- Travel
- Culture
- Food and drink
- Sport
- Music
- Crafts
- DIY
- Pets
Romantic things to say on a first date
You’ll also want to let them know you’re a nice person; a potentially caring, attentive and appreciative mate. This can be achieved by complimenting them on a piece of clothing or an accessory and possibly asking more about it to encourage a flow.
By properly paying attention to them, you’ll receive guidance on what to say. Active listening can actually be a real aphrodisiac too — you do this by ensuring your body language is open (no folded arms), you make eye contact and occasionally reflect back on what they’re saying (ie. “Ah, so you have a great deal of experience in the fashion industry”). Reflecting back can encourage them to tell you more, or you can even say: “How interesting, tell me more about that).
Funny first date conversation starters
Making somebody laugh is a super tool of attraction. It’ll also go far in putting you both at ease. Don’t get cocky, or inappropriate; be respectful and stick to ‘safe’ jokes and remarks. Old school chat-up lines are not ideal unless you have a perfect delivery and the right cheeky persona. Setting the other person up to be funny is also a good shout; with a question like: “Have you ever drunk texted anyone you shouldn’t have?”. Or “What’s the craziest thing you’ve done to impress someone?”. Having your own anecdote ready to go also gives you the chance to seamlessly insert your funny tale —seemingly off the cuff — and look good.
How to be funny on a first date
A touch of self-deprecation can be very charming. Take some pointers from famous comedians — like James Acaster and Miranda Hart — who will often tell stories about their shortcomings or awkward interactions and have gained an army of adoring fans as a result. Ruminate on some of your own scrapes and amusing encounters, considering how you could weave these into your first date chat.
How to keep the conversation going on a first date
The very best way to help you out of a conversation rut, is by starting over with a new topic. If the chat isn’t inspiring either of you, it won’t go anywhere. So if it’s gone stale, switch it up. Shyness can also cause us to clam up; picking a date venue or activity that gives you something to talk about will prevent this occuring and provide a limitless supply of conversation starters.
First date questions
Questions are the lifeblood of dating, particularly speed dating. They can break the ice, or delve deeper; reveal something about you and find out lots about them. However, you don’t want to sound like you’re firing Qs at them like an inquisition. So a good way around this is to preface some with a statement. Like; “I’m reading a fascinating book about the history of Hollywood — what was your last great read?”. This gives them the opportunity to ask probe further into your statement as well as responding to your question. And as it’s an open question (rather than a closed one, which can be answered with a straight “yes” or “no”), it should encourage more chat.
Would you like to go a first date and practice some of these tips? Come along to one of our speed dating events https://slowdating.com/find-a-speed-dating-event to find your match and start a conversation that will last a lifetime.
Related Questions
What should you not discuss on a first date?
The old adage of never discussing religion or politics at a party applies here. Unless you’ve been chatting already and know your opinions are aligned, it’s not a good idea to get into a debate the first time you meet,
How do you flirt on a first date?
Those who don’t possess a natural flirtatiousness may find this clunky. Genuine (as opposed to generic) compliments and humour are the best way to inject light-hearted flirting into the mix. Talking about a second date is a fun way to flirt.
How do you have a deep conversation on the first date?
Some personalities just loathe small talk and you might want to jump right in with a deep and meaningful. Once you’re through some lighter icebreakers, consider asking their views on something close to your heart, avoiding overly contentious topics.