Dating as a Single Parent

Dating as a single parent can feel like a daunting prospect. Between balancing work, parenting, and personal time, it may seem there’s little room for romance. However, finding love is always possible, no matter how short on time, or energy, you are. In this guide, we’ll explore the challenges and joys of dating as a single parent.

Is it harder to date as a single parent?

This depends on your individual circumstances — the level of support you have around you, personal finances, child care availability (which can be linked to finances), the ages and personalities of your kids — as well as your own personality, past experiences, and how many kids you have.

But let’s look at some of the main challenges, alongside some potential dating solutions.

Limited time

You may be juggling numerous responsibilities — like school runs, extracurricular activities, work commitments, and running a household solo. This can leave little time for yourself, let alone dating; especially if you have a baby or toddler, who needs your undivided attention 12 hours a day, or more.

Finding a dating method that covers a lot of ground in a short space of time, and minimises time-wasting, is key for you. Speed dating can be a great solution. It happens at night when most kids are tucked up in bed, meaning babysitting requirements are minimal. And you’ll get a lot of dates in just a few hours, making it an efficient dating strategy.

Limited money

Being a single parent doesn’t automatically mean you’ll be on a tight budget, but for many, this is the case. Dating need not be expensive, if you keep it low-key and operate the same kind of efficiency we’ve discussed in terms of time, with money.

Concerns about the kids

Many single parents worry about how dating will affect their children. But you’re not abandoning them by carving out time for yourself — modelling self-care can be really helpful to their development. Kids love to see their parents happy and fulfilled. And while it’s especially important to take it slowly, be mindful of who you date and what your non-negotiables are, bringing someone new into their lives can be immensely positive.

The benefits of dating as a single parent

Did you know that your experience as a caregiver can be a great benefit when dating? Here are some of the ways single parents excel when seeking a partner.

Clarity in what you want

Raising a child often encourages self-awareness and helps you to identify your personal values, desires, hopes and fears. Knowing yourself in this way will enable you to spot healthy potential matches much more clearly.

Maturity and stability

Single parents tend to have greater emotional maturity and life experience, which sets the foundation for a more stable and fulfilling relationship.

Resilience

Dating can be tough. But nowhere near as tough as raising a child. As a parent, you’ll have been through a lot, from the newborn sleepless nights to the tantrums and the daily Olympic-level multitasking. You are a warrior. You’re also familiar with the joy and rewards that come with patience and perseverance. So you have exactly what it takes to ride the thrills and spills of the dating journey and build something beautiful in the process.

How to start dating again as a single person

So you’re feeling ready to meet someone new. Here are some tips for dipping your toe back in the dating pool, as a single parent…

• From the start, be upfront about the fact that you’re a parent. Honesty will help you attract someone who’s understanding and accepting of your lifestyle.

• Your children will always come first, but that doesn’t mean you should neglect your own happiness. Setting boundaries ensures you can pursue a relationship without compromising family responsibilities.

• Don’t rush into a relationship just because you feel pressure to find someone. Take your time to find a person who truly aligns with your values and goals.

• Avoid introducing your children to a new partner too soon. Wait until the relationship is serious to ensure stability for your kids.

• Don’t force a bond between your new partner and your kids. Let the relationships develop naturally and at their own pace.

• If something doesn’t feel right, trust your gut. Whether it’s a red flag in a potential partner or a sense that the timing isn’t right, your instincts are valuable. This is really important where kids are involved.

• Pay attention to your kids’ reactions and feelings, ensuring they feel secure and included. If they’re older, you may want to explain that you’re going on some dates.

• Enjoy yourself! Dating may give you a fresh lease of life and a new social circle. Approach it with a sense of playfulness and fun — singles nights and speed dating events near you provide an effortless way to do this.

Dating as a single parent comes with unique challenges, but it’s also an opportunity to find meaningful connections with people who value your experiences. By being open, setting boundaries, and making time for yourself, you can successfully navigate the dating world.

Related Questions

How do you date when you both have kids?
The in-person logistics may be trickier, so you might want to arrange video calls when the kids are in bed, or book in playdates when you can align your schedules. Dating another parent has many benefits though — they will likely have genuine empathy and understand on a deeper level, that the kids come first.

Is it okay to talk about kids on the first date?
Absolutely, but avoid making it the main topic of conversation. You don’t need to share every detail, however, mentioning that you have a child early on ensures honesty and filters out those who aren’t comfortable dating a parent.

How do I balance dating and parenting?
Balance is the key word here. It’s really no different to many other aspects of our lives — well-being, exercise, life admin, work, and chores all have to be factored in, and we may choose to prioritise some above the other, but find time for all. Strike a balance that works for you; which may mean carving out dating time once a week, once a month, or any other frequency that works for you and your family.