Dating as a Single Parent
Navigating the world of dating as a single parent comes with its own unique set of challenges and considerations. Balancing the responsibilities of parenthood with a search for love can be a lot, so we have some insights to help you on the journey.
Can I date as a single parent?
Absolutely. Even if you have your kids with you 24/7, there are ways to make it work. When looking for potential partners, seek out individuals who are understanding and supportive of your role as a parent. Find someone who respects your priorities and is willing to embrace your family as a whole. Compatability in values, lifestyle and parenting approaches can help foster a strong and lasting connection. Your role as a parent is an integral part of who you are, so any potential partner should respect and appreciate the love and dedication you have for your children.
How do single parents date?
Naturally, getting out on your own can be tricky when you have a little one under your wing. Good quality dating apps prove invaluable here. As do video calling platforms (take your pick from Skype, Zoom, Google Meet, Microsoft Teams and others). Spending time chatting over messages, phone and on video can help you establish whether it’s worth investing in a babysitter or calling in favours for a face-to-face meeting.
Don't hesitate to seek support and resources that are specifically tailored to single parents navigating the dating world. Joining support groups and online forums can provide valuable insights, encouragement and camaraderie with others who understand your situation.
How to date as two single parents
A long-distance relationship may be off the cards for you, especially if both of you care for your kids most or all the time. So searching locally is likely to be a more achievable plan of action.
Getting your schedules to match up can be almost impossible when you’re both juggling childcare. If evenings are tricky, it’s totally fine to arrange a lunch break date (or a quick coffee if time is short) while the kids are at school or nursery.
Considerations when dating a single parent
Be upfront about your parental status from the beginning and communicate openly with potential partners about your family arrangements, including weekly schedules and living arrangements. This not only builds trust but also ensures that both parties are on the same page about expectations and responsibilities. How do you see this panning out? Are you imagining a partner taking a hands-on role with your kids, or more of a back seat? How involved you want them to be is a key consideration. Because there will be more than two people in this relationship.
Safety when dating as a single parent
While it’s far from common, some individuals prey on single mothers in particular, to gain access to children, or because they see them as more vulnerable. You should be aware of potential red flags in any new relationship. But if you’re a female who’s concerned about a romantic partner, know that you have the right to confidentially request information on their criminal history. This is called Clare’s Law and allows access to otherwise confidential data.
Should I tell my kids I'm dating?
This depends on their age and level of understanding. Teens may pick up on signs more readily and feel excluded if you haven’t been transparent with them. Whether you tell your kids will also depend on your goals for dating and if you’ve found anybody worth telling them about!
Finding the right opportunity to introduce a new partner to your children is a decision that should not be rushed. Take the time to assess the stability of your relationship and consider how your children may respond to the introduction of a new person into their lives. Keep first meetings casual and low-pressure. Possibly on neutral territory, so there’s no sense of invasion.
How to tell your co-parent you are dating
Many will find this a hurdle far greater than telling the kids. However, it’s a good idea to be straight with your ex (providing you have a productive dialogue with them). If they find out on the grapevine or bump into you with your new squeeze, they, like teenage kids, may be a little offended that you hadn’t shared the information. However, this very much depends on the nature of your relationship and how much you ordinarily share with them.
Dating as a single parent may require extra care, consideration and patience, but it's also a chance to rediscover joy, companionship and fulfilment. You deserve love, support and happiness just as much as anyone else. And a meaningful adult relationship that enriches both your life and the lives of your children.
Related Questions
Is it harder to date as a single parent?
Dating as a single parent certainly presents its own unique set of challenges, but whether it's "harder" can vary greatly depending on individual circumstances and perspectives, as well as your outlook and approach. Following the advice in this article should help make it an easier journey.
When should you ask about kids on a date?
If you have children or feel strongly about parenthood, bringing up the topic early doors is okay. You can share a bit about your family situation and enquire about the other person’s thoughts and feelings regarding children. Those using dating apps may want to establish their situation and deal breakers before arranging a meeting or chatting at length.
How long should you date before you meet the parents?
We’ve talked a lot about dating with kids, but what about your parents? When your relationship gets serious you’ll want to introduce your partner to the parentals sooner rather than later (assuming you’re on good terms and value their opinion). This is a significant step, so defining where you both are in the relationship is key before suggesting a meeting. As it could prove a little daunting.