How Do You Start Dating for the First Time?

The prospect of searching for a partner can be both exciting and daunting; especially for those who are exploring the wealth of new possibilities after coming out. Remember that it's normal to feel nervous or uncertain. But with some tips and practice you’ll be able to confidently navigate the scene and find someone special. Read on to find out how you start dating for the first time.

How to date with no experience

We have so many options in the 21st century; apps, speed dating and singles events are all freely available. And Google gives you all the info you need on each medium, at the click of a button. But what a search engine can’t do, is show you which type of dating will suit your personality and preferences best. So begin by doing a little research on each of these options and decide which to begin with. If you’ve never dated before, trying lots at once can be a little overwhelming (not to mention becoming equivalent to a part-time job in terms of time).

If you love tech and are happy to spend your spare time online, you’ll find a multitude of apps to download. Look for one that matches your sexual preferences and caters to the kind of outcome you’re seeking (some are about hookups, while others bring together those looking for a serious relationship).

How to start dating without apps

Lots of people assume apps are the starting point for dating. But it’s important you know that this is not the case and that you can absolutely meet someone without using apps. So if you’d much rather meet someone face to face you have other options which provide more direct support. Speed dating is perfect for novices in that everything is provided for you and a host (as well as a head office team) is there to guide you. It’s a gentle way to ease into the world of dating and it may be you never need another method.

How to start dating for the first time after coming out

Before jumping into the dating world, it's important to take some time to reflect on yourself, your identity and work out what you want in a relationship. Think about your values, interests and goals, and what kind of partner would complement them. Knowing this will enable you to navigate the dating world with more confidence and clarity. Don’t feel confined by labels; take some time to explore your feelings and experiment, particularly if you’re unsure which genders you’re most attracted to. Let go of any societal expectations and have fun! It’s a really good idea to connect with other members of the LGBTQ+ community at dedicated singles events and inclusive venues.

What to expect in the early stages of dating as a queer person

Each dating relationship can look and feel very different, whoever you are and whatever your preferences. Communication is key in any relationship, and this is especially true when it comes to LGBTQ+ dating. Be open and honest about your feelings, intentions, and boundaries. Don't be afraid to ask questions or clarify things if you're unsure. Treat everyone you meet with respect and walk away from those who don’t do the same for you.

What should you not do in the early stages of dating?

Rush. It's important to take your time and get to know your partner before jumping into anything too serious. Similarly, it’s important to allow space in the relationship; so resist any temptation to bombard them with texts, calls, or messages. Read the room. Don't overshare or talk a lot about exes. While it's important to be honest and open with your new partner, sharing too much personal information too soon can be overwhelming and may make them uncomfortable. Dating should be a fun and enjoyable experience. Don't put too much pressure on yourself or the relationship, and remember to have fun and enjoy the journey.

Starting dating for the first time can be an exhilarating and fulfilling experience. With some self-reflection, open-mindedness and clear communication, you can confidently navigate the dating world and find someone special. And don’t forget, we’re always here to help; from our advice-packed blogs to singles parties and speed dating events, Slow Dating will support you through this new journey.

Related Questions

When should I start dating for the first time?
The cliched (and entirely accurate) answer is; when you feel ready. Dating comes in many forms — casual, to understand your own reasons for doing it and establish your agenda, then date in settings that will meet your individual needs.

How often should you see each other when you first start dating?
Not every day, that’s for sure. You need some time together, but also space apart to reflect on how you’re feeling about them and whether this is for you. Around once or twice a week is plenty, and less is fine too — if you’re long-distance it may be more like once a month.

How long should you date before being a couple?
This will depend on how well (and if) you knew each other before starting dating. Months of video calls or a pre-existing friendship will likely fast-track you to coupledom. But if your first date is your first meet, it’s usual to give it at least half a dozen dates before declaring monogamy. Be sure to discuss this and not assume you’re exclusive as the other person may have different ideas.