How Can I Improve My Dating Game?

If you’ve been single for a while and have had little luck finding someone so far, you may wonder: how can I improve my dating game? In this article, we share practical tips on how to level up.

How to date successfully

Dating is often referred to as a game, perhaps due to the tactics and methodologies that can be employed to succeed and the concept of winning and losing. We can often feel helpless and at the mercy of fate, in meeting a partner. However, like many games, you can, to a large extent, make your own luck in dating. And here’s how…

How can I make my dating game better?

Identify what you want, what you need and the differences

It can be easy to fall into a relationship only to discover years down the line, that you were on different pages. While it’s good to have some differences and opposites can attract, we all have certain non-negotiables we want and need from life. What are yours? And how might identifying them help you double down on your search?

Widen your search and narrow your search

Now it’s time to establish whether you’re casting your net wide, or narrow. Are you writing off potential suitors or dating methods because you have very fixed ideas? Widen your search. Are you meeting lots of people, none of whom float your boat? Maybe you’re looking in the wrong places — in terms of the apps you’re using, venues you’re frequenting, or your geographical location. Cities, for example, may have more singles that countryside villages. If this means travelling into town, maximise your time there, by dating lots of people in one evening.

Get out of your comfort zone

Perhaps you feel like you’ve tried everything. For some that’s true. But if ‘everything’ is just a couple of dating apps, you actually have far more ground you can cover. Meeting people face to face is still a thing in the 21st century. So get involved in some community activities, a hobby or interest that’s likely to involve socialising with other single people your age; go to some singles events and try speed dating. If you’ve lived and worked in the same places and mixed with the same people for many years, you’re limiting your pool and the chances are, you’re stuck in your comfort zone. You might meet a partner here, but you’re reducing the opportunities massively.

How do you level up your dating game?

Be the best you

Consider this a great excuse to up your game on every level. Take a look at your wardrobe, the way you present yourself and hold yourself. But don’t just focus on the exterior, Explore your interior life; this may include building self-confidence, working through insecurities, increasing positivity and building networking skills. Practising self-love is a great starting point and a valuable habit in forming a healthy, equitable long-term relationship.

Engage your instinct

When it comes to instinct and intellect, the former wins almost every time. A powerful tool that too often gets overlooked in a generation of logic, instinct has proven it can beat analytical thinking when making decisions, in studies by psychologists. You’re far more likely to pick up if something doesn’t feel right if you listen to your gut. And that will prevent you from wasting time on people not right for you. It’ll also lead you to the ones who are.

Visualise the outcome

Imagining the outcome you want and believing it’s possible is a powerful tool, often described as ‘manifesting’ your desires. Spend some time visualising yourself in a happy relationship. What does that look like? How does your partner look and behave? Believe that dating can work out. And if you start to doubt, check out some of the success stories on our blog.

What are the keys to successful dating?

In summary, the ways to succeed can include meeting as many people as possible from within your target demographic; getting out of your comfort zone; working on yourself, so you look and feel your best; trusting your instincts and imagining the outcome you desire.

Be aware that not all of these points will apply to everyone. Have a think about which might be relevant to your situation and work out what might be in your power to change. You are in the driving seat of your love life. So set your intention and start your journey today.

Related Questions

How long do you date before being in a relationship?

People who meet in a setting geared to finding a relationship generally date for a shorter period — they already know what they want and are ready to make a commitment. So it may be just weeks or up to a couple of months. Outside of this sphere timelines vary much more, as relationships can develop very slowly from friendships.

What is a situationship?

A relatively new term, but an old concept, this refers to a scenario where you are somewhere in between a relationship and friendship. Your interactions are clearly not just platonic, but neither are they defined.

What do you do when you are unlucky in love?

It’s important to stop thinking of yourself as ‘unlucky’. By labelling yourself in this way it can perpetuate as a self-fulfilling prophecy. See what has gone before as a useful life lesson that you can learn from and is helping inform where you want to be. Understand that it’s quite normal to have bumps along the way.