Efficient Dating Strategies

Do you think that efficiency is only for work or household chores? Think again. It can be applied to your romantic life as well. Efficient dating strategies can help you find a meaningful connection faster and with less frustration. Here’s how to streamline your dating journey…

Dating strategy

When it comes to our careers we plan, plot and prepare. Because we know we can’t rely on mere chance to get ahead. Yet in our romantic lives, many of us believe finding a partner comes down to luck more than anything else and so do little in the way of strategising. As with our careers, luck does come into it to a degree, but there’s much you can do to make your own “luck”. It’s easy to sit back, look at others in long-term relationships and believe there’s nothing you can do, or that you’ve already done everything you can do. For most singles, there are other techniques you can try and explore. But it might mean getting out of your comfort zone and shaking off that belief that finding love is just a mysterious alchemy.

How do you date effectively?

Begin dating effectively by taking stock of what you’re currently doing — what’s working well and what’s not. Also, think about your lifestyle. Are you short on time? Spending hours trawling through apps, or going to mixers may be draining it. Consider a different format, like speed dating, which is more concentrated and covers a lot of ground in just a few hours. Or arranging shorter dates in your lunch break, or after work, so you’re not adding travel time on top of your commute.

Tips for dating conversations

Once you have a date lined up, you can maximise the opportunity by having some chat ready to go. Plenty of first meets fall flat because of awkward silences and feeling stuck for words. This can cause people to mistakenly think there’s no chemistry. While this might be the case, it may also just be shyness getting in the way. You won’t get to know each other until you start communicating, so come to your date prepared with some questions and icebreakers. This is especially important in speed dating, where there’s not a minute to waste!

Most efficient dating strategies

Start with a positive attitude. If you believe you’re unlucky or that there are no good singles out there, that attitude will radiate from you. It may be you want to consider manifesting as a strategy. This may seem a little “woo-woo” for some of you, but there is plenty of anecdotal evidence that this works.

Try everything. If one dating method isn’t proving successful, move onto another and then back again. Meet as many people as you can — sometimes finding love is a numbers game and if you’re not encountering lots of singles in your demographic, you’re unlikely to hit the jackpot.

What are the best dating techniques?

Some people like to set time limits; how long to leave it before making contact after a date (some say three days), how long to give a new relationship if you’re not quite sure (many suggest six weeks), and how often you see one another at the beginning of a new relationship. We suggest setting your own limits depending on your situation, location and personality. However when it comes to following up after a date (particularly after speed dating), there’s little value in leaving it very long. Relaxed, authentic communication is usually most appreciated and most successful.

Game theory in dating

You may have heard of game theory in dating. This refers to thinking about your next move as if you were playing a game, rather than from an emotional or subjective perspective. So, for an example, you may swipe right on a single because you like they way they look, or get a good feeling about their profile. But if you were to play it like a game, you’d swipe based on pre-set parameters. This may be having a list of attributes that they must match to get a right swipe. Or you may choose the “dominant strategy” of swiping right on everyone, so you rule out no one. This can apply to speed dating too.

Game theorists also have a phrase known as “cheap talk”. This refers to vague statements on profiles, such as liking travel. Anything such as this is disregarded, unless it is accompanied by a specific — such as a photo of them somewhere far-flung, or an anecdote about their favourite destination. Being specific shows commitment to the cause, and signals someone more likely to be in the market for a committed relationship.

Efficient dating doesn’t mean rushing through the process but rather optimising your approach to finding meaningful connections with less hassle. By defining your goals, optimising your online profiles, prioritising quality interactions, mastering communication, managing your time wisely, being open and flexible, reflecting on your experiences and maintaining a positive attitude, you can navigate the dating world more effectively and find the relationship you’re looking for.

Related Questions

What is a healthy way of dating?
Know yourself; understand your values, interests, and goals. Be honest and clear about your intentions and feelings. Respect boundaries, treat others with kindness and consideration and take care of your mental and emotional health.

What are big no-nos in dating?
In general terms, things like lying, game-playing and being disrespectful are all no-nos. But there are some more dos and don’ts for speed dating, that are worth knowing.

What's the best part of dating?
Dating is the perfect chance to discover new things about yourself and others and learn from the individuals you meet along the way. It’s also a great excuse to get out there and try some activities, restaurants, cafes or bars you’ve got your eye on. This brings an added element of adventure and variety into your life.